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josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	more married life   4/29/2008 A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was ... 2 Comments, 91 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	4 kinds of sex   4/29/2008 There are four kinds of sex : HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU" COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her ... 2 Comments, 71 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	MARRIAGE   4/29/2008 1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!). 2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. 3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind. 4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. 5. ... 2 Comments, 41 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	play me a tune....   4/28/2008 A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love, " he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the ... 2 Comments, 54 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	cant please em all....   4/28/2008 A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he ... 2 Comments, 69 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	another 40 years of marriage...   4/28/2008 An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife. She says, "Well what was that for?" He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!" She doesn't reply and they start rocking again. All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband. He says, ... 2 Comments, 67 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	devotion   4/28/2008 This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you ... 2 Comments, 66 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	unusual dreams...   4/28/2008 A wife woke up from her night's sleep and began recounting her dream to her husband. "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks in this place, "she began, "the big ones went for a tenner and the thick ones went for 20." "How about the ones like mine?" asked her husband. "Those they gave away, " she replied tongue in cheek. "I had a dream too, " started the husband. "I dreamt they ... 3 Comments, 76 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	marriage consuling....   4/28/2008 After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the ... 2 Comments, 53 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	40 years of marriage...   4/28/2008 A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and ... 3 Comments, 227 Views, 14 Votes ,2.18 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	you can be the man of your house...   4/19/2008 The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man Of Your House.' He stormed out to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to ... 2 Comments, 187 Views, 10 Votes ,3.78 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	say what you mean...   4/19/2008 A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You ... 2 Comments, 73 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
josmith5 61 M 1466  Articles	a poem   4/18/2008 A Woman's Poem He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard .. Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I whirled and smacked him shitless ... Like his mother used to do. 2 Comments, 58 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_calmlys 38 M 3  Articles	The Final Pubic Hair   4/17/2008 You know when you're going down on a girl, normally these days, most girls keep themselves pretty clean and trimmed. Yeah there may be a patch here or there where it's slightly rougher, but there's ALWAYS some part that just somehow always gets missed. It may be a small patch, it may be part of a design gone wrong, but it's there. And in this patch, there's always one stray hair that's ... 2 Comments, 318 Views, 19 Votes ,3.78 Score
rm_calmlys 38 M 3  Articles	Cinderella   4/17/2008 What did Cinderella say after you got to the ball? *Gack!* 0 Comments, 74 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
rm_nolentally 58 M 81  Articles	Wrap That Sausage   3/14/2008 Came across this amusing article. Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai. After shopping there earlier in the day, a man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large sausages. "It was two latex dildos with a natural look, " said a spokesman for police in the ... 1 Comments, 443 Views, 15 Votes ,3.44 Score
rm_liz3120072 48 F 6  Articles	What women really say & mean!!!   3/7/2008 CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? -there is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again. I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. -without u in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? -We haven't had a fight in a while. NO, PIZZA'S FINE. -you cheap slob! I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. -I just don't want you as a boyfriend now. I DON'T KNOW, ... 5 Comments, 305 Views, 23 Votes ,4.53 Score
just4kicks1700 42 C 6  Articles	worst date??   3/5/2008 whats the worst date story you have?? 1 Comments, 105 Views, 5 Votes ,1.51 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	The good husband !   2/28/2008 Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to ... 11 Comments, 297 Views, 52 Votes ,4.72 Score
sexyromance65 58 M 2  Articles	Safe condom removal.   2/24/2008 This is a story warning of the dangers of unsafe condom removal. It's sure to bring a tear to the eyes of every man who reads it. When I was about 20, I met a girl called Jenny, and we started dating. She was quite new to the world of sex, but she was most enthusiastic. The first time we went all the way I used a condom, something that she was fascinated with. She rolled it onto me quite ... 5 Comments, 673 Views, 15 Votes ,4.05 Score
Ask me for a photo rm_scooby1813 52 M 1  Article	sex   2/3/2008 sex is like oxygen its only important if your not getting any 0 Comments, 75 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
Sexy757Couple 34 C 3  Articles	Pet peeves   1/22/2008 What is the one thing that your partner does that irritates you the most? Mine is commenting on my driving! 3 Comments, 104 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	Married for 44 years !   12/18/2007 After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. Now I have a $500, 000 house, $45, 000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It ... 11 Comments, 404 Views, 64 Votes ,5.26 Score
Ask me for a photo raysfuntoo 66 M 5  Articles	Double date hell   11/28/2007 Years ago I had a double date with a friend of mine, Joe, who wanted to date a friend of a girl I had dated a couple of times. I asked her if she would set up a date for us, she agreed thinking it would be fun. I agreed to drive, picking up my buddy and then the two girls. Since the other two barely knew each other we talked for a few minutes before heading off to a bar for a beer and a bite ... 3 Comments, 178 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
rm_solly2272 52 M 5  Articles	F--k   11/8/2007 I was wrong Fuck. Well give me a minute, Fuck. Yea it wont happen again, Fuck. want to talk about it, Fuck. I just want a set of ears, Fuck. I didn't want your sympathy. All I wanted was a friend Fuck. Ill dream of a new tomorrow and you'll still be in fuck-in head why? Because I LOVE YOU P.S Many more fucks to go.... 2 Comments, 54 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part I   11/6/2007 This is a true story! In July of 1984 and I was shacked up with a beautiful redheaded ex-stripper and ex-car thief from Culpepper, Virginia by the name of Julie in the small town of West, Tennessee which was my hometown. Julie was 5ft. 2 inches tall with medium length wavy dark red hair and a natural bust size of 36 D that was way to big for her frame and she no doubt turned heads ... 4 Comments, 145 Views, 32 Votes ,1.55 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part II   11/6/2007 Anyways I got all cleaned up to go to this card game and Julie is raising hell about me going out that early in the day because she has a beauty appointment at 2:00 pm that afternoon at a beauty shop that was 600 ft. away from my trailer on the same side of the highway as the trailer park we lived in was but this started an argument because of us only having one car that day. My 76 Cougar was ... 5 Comments, 119 Views, 31 Votes ,1.71 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part III   11/6/2007 There were two fights over the pool tournament and another fight I suppose just for the damn hell of it that afternoon and we nearly had a fight over the poker game at one point with different people getting in and out of the game arguing as the juke box kept playing that crazy song among some other crazy as hell ones to boot by what looked like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre crew. To ... 4 Comments, 111 Views, 32 Votes ,1.36 Score
_JKH_ 69 M 858  Articles	Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part IV   11/6/2007 Part IV The poker game was still going on but it was pitiful because they were all so messed up or I was and it was hard to understand what anyone was saying. The owner of the beer joint was gonna let them continue to play as soon as he got all of the other customers out of the place because he was gonna play too. I stood around and talked to a couple of different people a few minutes ... 12 Comments, 134 Views, 33 Votes ,3.42 Score
rm_hotbtweenlgs 69 C 24  Articles	THE "WHY'S" OF MEN...   11/2/2007 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock) You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. ... 6 Comments, 152 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score