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Human Relationships 10/25/2017
Ultimately, the only way to make good friends is to become
a good friend yourself. Good people gather around other
good people.
2 Comments, 15 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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When a girl says ... 7/28/2017
When a Woman says, "OK, have fun."
Do not have fun. Abort the mission. I repeat. Abort the mission.
1 Comments, 49 Views,
20 Votes
,4.40 Score
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caught 7/28/2017
getting caught by your gf while wanking is total fun lol
1 Comments, 26 Views,
18 Votes
,3.94 Score
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Make her scream... 6/16/2017
Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or
whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...
5 Comments, 112 Views,
17 Votes
,4.68 Score
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Weekend sex 5/31/2017
Would love to have sex- i said.
She gave me a glove...
Xxx
6 Comments, 57 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship 5/25/2017
I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm
not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in
bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch
it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he
is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend
to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.
Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
17 Votes
,4.12 Score
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oldie but goodie 4/28/2017
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over
a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry
Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked
me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for
releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...
4 Comments, 106 Views,
19 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Haaaaachu....!!!! 4/20/2017
A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor.
She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing,
and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor
asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman
replies, "Sniffing pepper."
5 Comments, 90 Views,
28 Votes
,4.78 Score
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Lessor of two evils 3/28/2017
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"At which time, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your
wife and the man ...
0 Comments, 229 Views,
24 Votes
,4.95 Score
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false advertisment 3/28/2017
so awhile back i met a lady on TengaSexo.com and what caught my attention
was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly
(at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few
weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one
friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe
just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if
you need some replacement dick, i'm ...
3 Comments, 228 Views,
21 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Dead Roses! 3/28/2017
On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife
a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought
that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for
flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring
them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase
with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and
they looked a little bit better but still looked ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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For Fun 3/28/2017
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score
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Listen up 3/28/2017
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 Comments, 304 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score
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gossipers!!! 3/28/2017
Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor
of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into
other people's business. Several members did not
approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared
her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member,
Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of ...
3 Comments, 244 Views,
39 Votes
,6.82 Score
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Karma 3/28/2017
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 Comments, 236 Views,
26 Votes
,5.40 Score
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paying for services 3/28/2017
When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage
with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service
is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services
to men.
It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!
2 Comments, 32 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score
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Tires made of pussy 3/28/2017
We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This
girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would
never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't
work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!
3 Comments, 56 Views,
16 Votes
,3.27 Score
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Doing the laundry 3/14/2017
When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing
the laundry" as another phrase for having sex.
One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset.
I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me
to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting
so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing
the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...
1 Comments, 824 Views,
66 Votes
,7.19 Score
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My Husband is going to Kill me when he reads this 3/14/2017
We have been together for fourteen years, but when we were
first dating, oh my. We had only had sex a few times and we
decided to do it doggie style. Well away we were going when
all of a sudden it slipped into the wrong hole. I was so shocked
that I bucked him off and he fell on the floor. I am not sure
who was more embarrased him or me. He got back on the bed and
we talked about it and ...
3 Comments, 1179 Views,
40 Votes
,3.72 Score
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my boyfriends 3/14/2017
The first date I had with my boyfriend, he told me he had never
had a blow job before. Apparently I couldn't see through
that. Now we've been together 2 years, and although
he's not like that anymore, it still cracks me up how
I fell for that line. It may not have been his first, but two
years later, it was obviously his best!
2 Comments, 1271 Views,
39 Votes
,5.03 Score
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Always use condoms? 3/4/2017
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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I am ready 3/4/2017
Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only
thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...
6 Comments, 45 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score
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the Farmer and His Wife 2/21/2017
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Comments, 220 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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.zdfgjkldfklhb 1/16/2017
respect is the most important value in the relationship
1 Comments, 15 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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Look how sexy my wife is... 12/15/2016
...That is all.
-Sexxxcrzd(m)
14 Comments, 174 Views,
26 Votes
,5.61 Score
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Why do people always say things that arent? 9/2/2016
Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious,
then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?
4 Comments, 37 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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Always use condoms? 8/6/2016
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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The Fickle Times We Live In..... 7/17/2016
"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe
you could learn to fuck better!"
That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after,
a less than par blowjob.....
"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks
that you keep in your closet?!!"
I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time.
She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
13 Votes
,0.46 Score
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Lost condom ?? 5/6/2016
Would some of you like to share your humorous moments with
you lover. I will share on of mine, we had lots of fun and some
good sex, we were using a condom of course. After playtime
we were looking for the condom to put it in the garbage, well
we took apart the bed, looked under the bed, on the floor...could
not find it, so we thought we should look and see what had
turned out on the ...
6 Comments, 457 Views,
25 Votes
,5.90 Score
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I dont know if I'm good at giving men Blow Jobs 5/6/2016
How do you know? I have only been with a few men in my life...
Dont get me wrong... I love to give head! I just dont know
if I am any good at it. I never really asked if I was any good
at it. I was always told it's not nice to talk with your
mouth full. I mean they cum quite quickly most of the time.
They just dont scream "Yeah Baby, Yeah just like that!"
I guess I am just wondering if ...
9 Comments, 496 Views,
20 Votes
,4.02 Score
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