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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck 1/8/2014 Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald 0 Comments, 191 Views, 0 Votes | |
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LETTERS TOO SANTA 12/13/2013 Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of 0 Comments, 155 Views, 0 Votes | |
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waiting for his mother 12/13/2013 A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, ", can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy repl 0 Comments, 166 Views, 0 Votes | |
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CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD 12/4/2013 To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly aft 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Reduced gun crime 12/4/2013 * In 1863 a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States. * In 1964 a communist-turned Democrat killed John F. Kennedy * In 1983 a registered Democrat shot and wounded Rona 0 Comments, 133 Views, 0 Votes | |
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PEPPERMINT 12/4/2013 I recently spent $6, 500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bu 0 Comments, 121 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The urologist is a very pretty female doctor 12/3/2013 An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor 0 Comments, 192 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Veterinarian 11/26/2013 One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1, 000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday 0 Comments, 142 Views, 0 Votes | |
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lady goes to the bar 11/21/2013 A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' Th 0 Comments, 134 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Robot 11/21/2013 A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his what he did that afternoon. The says, "I did 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SITTING ON THE TOILET 11/18/2013 A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOU 0 Comments, 123 Views, 0 Votes | |
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You gotta love a good nurse 11/18/2013 A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his cro 0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Senior Love....... 11/17/2013 I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times 0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
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husbands' marriage seminars 11/17/2013 At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Baltimore , they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding a 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Norman 11/17/2013 Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times’ sake and some hot sex. He engages a lovely and takes her up to a room. 0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes | |
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One more time 11/17/2013 A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in 0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Blonde Men 11/17/2013 It had to happen sooner or later.......................Blonde Men! A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." 0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Power outage 11/17/2013 Power outage We had a power outage last night and my PC, iPod, iPhone, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my wife for a few hours. She 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Mensa Question 11/9/2013 You are on a , galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off. And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in fr 0 Comments, 131 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Random Thoughts 11/9/2013 A Man's Random Thoughts: Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! 0 Comments, 85 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!!!!! 11/9/2013 I Just Realized Something: My sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup and again 0 Comments, 87 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Pumpkin sex 11/9/2013 Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawren 0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Golf Riders 11/1/2013 Three old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?" The first old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had 0 Comments, 128 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Old guys were golfing 11/1/2013 A couple of old guys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Basil for a new set of dentures in the morning. His elderly friend remarked that he, too, ha 0 Comments, 110 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Remember 11/1/2013 Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it." A physician called into a radio show and said: "that's the definition of a stool sample." Th 0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes | |
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'Go-To' guy' 10/30/2013 Location, Location, Location In the news this week, a Southern California man was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and had (by rough estimate) one 0 Comments, 1579 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Only permanent injury 10/30/2013 Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was severely injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a catapult shot from the aircraft carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopt 0 Comments, 110 Views, 0 Votes | |
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(or maybe not!) 10/29/2013 Some of you gray hairs should remember some of these old song (or maybe not!) 60's Hits Renamed Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to a 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The ZIPPER 10/29/2013 In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too 0 Comments, 107 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Did I send this to you already? 10/29/2013 Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologi 0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes |
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